Tainted love
by totti10
Summary: Based on the scenes from the Spring 2016 trailer. What impact will her ex-husband's sudden reappearance have on Rita's life and can her relationship with Iain survive this test? T/W reference to sexual assault
1. Chapter 1

**T/w: reference to sexual assault/abuse**

She shut the door behind her and paced around her office in an attempt to calm down her breathing. She needed a moment to compose herself. What the hell was he doing back? How stupid had she been to think she'd ever be free of him. Ever be happy.

She heard the click of the door behind her and spun round, her hand flying to her mouth as she saw Mark standing there, his large frame blocking her exit.

"Hello Rita" he spoke quietly closing the door behind him. She froze as she heard the sound of the lock clicking into place. Mark's eyes bore into her.

"You think you can hide from me? What is it? You can't bear to look at me? At what you've turned me into?"

Rita's lip trembled as he closed the distance between them stopping as close to her as it was possible to without actually touching her. She'd backed as far as she could against the wall and knew he had it in his power to hold her there as long as he wanted. She saw his eyes travel from her face down her body and back up, a look of sheer disdain on his face.

"Still pretty hot looking aren't you? Fucking misleading packaging that's all I'll say. I know all about that don't I, Rita? I know you're cold, empty and heartless. God I pity the next man that falls for you." Rita's eyes flicked to the side as she thought of Iain, thought of whether anyone would come and look for her if she didn't reappear.

He clocked her reaction and pounced.

"Oh right! There's already an unlucky guy is there? Well, well done you!" He sneered "That black doctor who treated me before is it? No? Zoe told me he didn't work here anymore." Rita shuddered at the thought of Mark interacting with friends she'd made since she'd attempted to restart her life without him "He had enough as well did he? Overstretched yourself thinking you were worthy of a doctor?"

Mark was interrupted by the buzz of Rita's phone on her desk. The panic was clear in her eyes as he reached over to grab it without removing the threat or barrier that his body posed to her.

"Oh here we go... 'Iain' is it then?" He menaced having glanced down at the screen. Rita flinched.

"He's just a friend" she barely whispered. The thought of Iain getting involved in all of this made her feel physically sick.

"Arranging to meet you? Signing off with a kiss? Don't lie to me Rita. Ooh he thinks you need to talk though. That doesn't sound too great does it? Another one you've fucked up? Now…" He started to scroll down holding the phone so he could still see her reaction over the top of it "...let's see if Iain has been _getting any_ shall we?"

Rita's vision started to blur as her eyes swam with tears but she saw Mark's eyes widen the further down he scrolled and read. She could feel her heart hammering in her chest terrified of what was coming next. She didn't have to wait long.

"You fucking cheap bitch" he spat, emphasising every word. "So that's how you manage to keep a man these days is it? Just put it all out there like some pathetic tart? Oh, he sounds like _quite_ the gentleman I must say" he continued sarcastically.

Rita let out a choked sob. All that time she'd just felt happy to even have a healthy relationship with sex again and now it was being turned back on her as something sordid and disgusting. She should have known better than to think she deserved anything more.

"Meeting you outside... So what have we got? Another doctor? Some desperate old sod from the geriatric ward? Or have you had to settle for a lowly nurse this time?"

"Well whoever he is it's clear he's getting more off you than you ever gave your husband isn't he? Something about that's not quite right if you ask me. Your husband, Rita. And you wonder why I looked elsewhere! You made vows remember? Have, hold, love, cherish, honour and obey isn't it? By my reckoning I still have quite a bit of credit to cash in. So..." He took a step closer to her, his face just inches from hers. Rita recoiled at the foul stench of stale cigarettes and alcohol on his breath.

"Let's see if we get on any better now you actually know what your body is for, shall we?" Before Rita knew what was happening Mark's forearm was pressing against her chest and the force of his mouth and teeth against hers cut into her lip and caused her head to smack into the wall behind her. She let out a muffled shriek of pain and fear.

"Not really feeling that" Mark said sneeringly, moving his hand to cover her bruised lips, his elbow digging into the flesh under her collarbone. "And don't try anything silly Rita, you're not strong enough. How about we skip the foreplay, eh?" The blonde woman's eyes widened in terror but she let her body go slack and just willed this to be over. Her ears filled with the sound of ripping velcro as he tore open her navy tunic. Still with one arm pressed against her he used a finger from the other hand to trace along the top edge of her white vest, pausing to hook it into the fabric and pull it down enough to reveal the edge of her lace bra. A single tear escaped down her cheek as she sucked in her breath and told herself not to let him see her cry. She squeezed her eyes shut trying to block everything out. She felt his hand move away from her chest and for a split second thought it might be over. Suddenly she gasped in pain as she felt his fingernails dig into the flesh of her sides, his fingers clawing at the elastic waistband of her scrubs trousers and dragging them down over her hips. He paused again. This time stepping back and observing her carefully. The waistband was now resting on her thighs, her underwear clearly on view.

"Matching set? Much more presentable these days aren't you?" he scoffed. Rita hadn't even realised she was holding her breath waiting for his next move.

"Do you know what? I'm not even interested Rita. It wasn't good enough last time for this to be worth my while. Let's just say it's enough to know I could If I wanted to. Your problem is you're too fucking easy. Now if you don't mind there's somebody else I fancy having a little chat with.. I'm going to make sure you suffer like you've made me suffer so don't go thinking this is finished"

Rita stayed rooted to the spot while Mark turned and let himself out of the door, closing it swiftly behind him. As soon as he was gone she fumbled to pull her trousers back in place and sank to the floor shaking.

She had to get out of here. She had to get out of those clothes. She had to make sure Iain was ok. It didn't matter what he thought of her as a result of all this but he was a good man. Too good. What was she even thinking she deserved happiness with someone like him? She knew she would never forgive herself if he got hurt as well.

Zoe had already told her to take what was left of the shift off. What she didn't know was that her colleague had also rung Iain, given him the heads up on exactly who had turned up at the ED today and the probable state it had left Rita in.

Before she could do anything she crawled across the floor and heaved the contents of her stomach into her waste paper bin.


	2. Chapter 2

Rita changed hurriedly and left without talking to a single colleague. She didn't want anyone to see the state she was in so walked quickly head down, face set and arms wrapped around her in an attempt to stop herself from shaking.

She had to get out before Mark did. She was banking on the rest of his treatment and discharge buying her time. She had to get to Iain first. She couldn't bear to be greeted by the look of pity or disappointment on his face if she failed. It was over between them. She knew that now. He didn't want or deserve damaged goods like her. But she needed to tell him before Mark did. She owed him that much. She thought they could've been happy but she realised now she'd just been living on borrowed time all along.

She rounded a parked ambulance as she headed towards the depot and her heart sank. She was too late. Iain and Mark were stood a little distance away and by the looks of it already engaged in a heated discussion. She edged closer. At least this way she'd be able to tell Iain she was sorry afterwards and just get it all over with.

* * *

Iain was waiting for Rita on his break as per his text. He chewed on a nail anxiously trying to work out what he was going to say. He knew there was stuff from Rita's past that probably needed to come out in the open but he had been hoping it would come up naturally further down the line. They'd been having too much fun to spoil it by getting into deep conversations. Following Zoe's call today he realised their hand had been forced and, from what she'd said about how badly Rita had reacted, he knew he was right to be concerned that she hadn't fully dealt with it. He needed her to know that he'd be there to help her to get through it, whatever it took. _What doesn't kill you makes you stronger._ That's what Dixie had always tried to get him to believe.

He heard a man shouting his name and looked up in the direction of the voice.

* * *

Mark wandered out of the ED doors and looked around him to locate the ambulance bays. When he spotted them he saw two men stood separately alongside. One was in uniform, the other a member of the public taking the opportunity to enjoy a cigarette.

He called out a man's name in the general direction of the pair and watched as the guy in the green uniform turned his head to face him.

Mark sauntered over towards him, a smile creeping up his face.

"So you're Iain? A fucking ambulance driver?! My god she really is scraping the bottom of the barrel now" he laughed cruelly. Iain's face drew back in confusion then shock as he realised who it was.

"You're the sad bastard who gets off on my wife sending you demeaning messages are you? I've seen her phone" The younger man's eyes widened in disbelief and anger as he took in what was being levelled at him. "Get out while you can mate, she's damaged goods that one. Doesn't know what the hell she wants. Though we have just shared a cosy little moment in her office. I'm sure she wouldn't mind me telling you that."

Iain took a step towards the other man, his fists clenching down by his sides.

"I swear to god if you've hurt one hair on her head..." he snarled.

"Oh don't worry, I drew the line before she spread her legs for me. See how _she_ likes being denied what she's owed when she's gagging for it. Sounds like she's got herself quite a reputation around here now. I'm not one to go in for sloppy seconds, but I tell you mate, she wasn't trying to stop me" Mark's eyes narrowed as he searched Iain's face for a reaction.

"Have you finished?" Iain's top lip quivered from the emotion and the nausea he was trying to keep in check.

"For the record I'm not your mate and Rita isn't your wife. And you have got some bleeding nerve having a go at me and her after what you did. You're sick you know that?"

Mark lunged at him grabbing hold of his jacket and pushing him back against the wall. Iain simply steadied himself and held his hands out raised to the sides highlighting that he wasn't going to retaliate.

"If you want to do more time inside you're going the right way about it. Plenty of eyes on you here" the paramedic said, a waving arm gesturing round at the CCTV cameras dotted about. "And even if you don't give a shit and fancy having a go I'll probably be alright defending myself. Army training's quite useful for that. You're not going to hit me though are you? It's not your style is it, picking on someone your own size?" The disgust was obvious in Iain's tone, as Mark released the grip on his coat.

"What are you even doing here Mark? You've already wrecked her life once.

You don't even remember me do you? Start of last year? See it's not just about _driving_ the ambulance. Luckily for you, I don't judge the lives I save. You were bleeding out in front of that pub over there. I saw her face when we wheeled you in and I'll be honest, part of me wished I hadn't fucking bothered.

People don't mend easily after crap like that has happened to them Mark. I should know believe me. And somehow, that woman that you broke, that for some reason you want to keep on breaking, has been piecing her life back together since you did what you did. And she's done it all on her own. Not just existing as some might have done but achieving. She's had promotions - I reckon she's one of the best nurses this place has ever seen. She's got friends. And now, if she wants, she's got me. She's probably the kindest, bravest and most beautiful person I know.

 _Five_ years it has taken her to let someone else in did you know that? Five years of her twenties and thirties. Because of you. And I feel bloody lucky that person was me. And now she finally has someone who loves her, what? You're back to wreck that too? It's ironic really because you've just made me even more determined to help her put this behind her properly.

You need to take a look at yourself fella. Get help. If you ever had any kind of feelings for Rita you'll just get the hell out of here and let her get on with her life. Then take some fucking responsibility for finding yours again."

Iain was shaking now. He took a step back from the other man and fixed him with his stare.

"I think we're done here"

Mark opened his mouth to speak again but thought better of it. He cast his eyes to the floor before pushing past Iain and heading away from the hospital.

Iain pressed his lips together and exhaled heavily through his nose, shaking his head angrily. Neither him nor Mark had noticed the woman who'd been stood just a few metres away watching pretty much the whole exchange.

"Rita! Oh god are you ok?" He rushed to her placing his hands on her shoulders and looking her full in the face in an attempt to work out how she was feeling. "How long have you been stood there?"

Rita looked up at Iain, it was obvious from her face that she'd been crying but she managed the slightest hint of a smile as she replied:

"Long enough"


	3. Chapter 3

"Iain I don't know what to say. I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what?"

"This. I… I'm not naive enough to think I'd dealt with all that stuff in the past it's just well.. me and you... I was just feeling so happy for a change that I'd almost stopped worrying about it coming up again. I should have been honest about how much of a mess it left me in because you don't deserve to be involved in any of this... I was being selfish. I should have told you but I just wanted to hold on to what we had for as long as I could. I feel awful I should have thought about how this all effects…"

"Rita?" Iain interrupted. He was conscious he didn't know all the details of her past with Mark but he wanted to make sure he trod carefully given how shaken she was looking. Rita's brown eyes locked on his, tears still wetting her lashes.

"Can I kiss you?" he asked softly.

"What?" she whispered, eyes narrowing in confusion. Why was he asking, why did he even want to?

"I didn't want to assume. But I don't care. Sorry no I mean of course I care...what i'm trying to say is that your past doesn't matter, i mean it doesn't affect how I fee..."

Rita's gaze had been flicking between his lips and his green eyes while he was talking and now she suddenly reached up a hand to grab the back of his neck and pull him into her until their mouths pressed together softly. Iain wrapped his arms around her back and felt the tension ebb away from her body as he pulled her close into his. It wasn't an elaborate kiss but as Rita felt the warmth of him, breathed in his smell, she felt safe in his arms and she knew this was something she couldn't give up without a fight. She pulled back to look at him again.

"Iain, what you said to Mark just now I... I've never heard anyone talk about me like that before. I'm not sure I deserve it. I really haven't handled this very well. God I should have been braver I should have stood up to him like you just did, that girl, his pupil... I didn't do anything it was all my fault that it happened, that it dragged on as long as it did.

"Hey, hey, no. Oh my god Rita don't you ever think that what happened to her was anything to do with you. The only person who did anything wrong was him and as for standing up to him, it's easy for me. He doesn't mean anything to me but he was your husband. You loved him. I can't even begin to imagine what this must be like for you. Come here…"

Iain cupped the back of her head gently and brought his lips to hers again, both of them deepening the kiss this time, their breath quickening as their bodies pressed closer together, his fingers softly tunnelling through her hair. He stopped abruptly and pulled back, confusion on his features as he brought his hand back to look at it.

"Rita? You're bleeding…" both of them observing the drops of scarlet now glistening on his fingers. Rita raised her hand to the back of her head tentatively, whilst subconsciously taking a step back.

Iain could feel his pulse racing.

"He did this?" His voice was not much more than a whisper.

Rita felt her stomach lurch as the feeling of nausea returned. Her shoulders slumped as she cast her eyes that towards the floor. Iain tried again

"Rita talk to me please. Wh… what did he do?" he took a step towards her intending to pull her in and reassure her that he was there for her but to his horror she flinched away from him, panic flashing across her face.

"O god no Rita… I'm sorry I didn't mean to startle you. Sweetheart I want to help you I would never hurt you, please… talk to me?"

Rita took a depth breath and closed her eyes. If this was going to eat her up from the inside anyway she might as well be honest, put them both out of their misery.

"Erm… he… he followed me into my office. He found our texts - he was angry - said I was cheap, said it was because I wasn't a proper wife that he had to look elsewhere" she paused. Iain gulped, his heart breaking to hear what she was saying but determined to let her finish now she was opening up.

"My head... I must've hit the corner of the shelves when he pushed me backwards. He…he... my clothes" Rita's hand instinctively pulled the lapels of her jacket together under her chin as she spoke, her eyes still cast downwards.

"This" Rita reached down and fumbled with the hem of her top raising it slightly on one side, high enough that Iain saw the 3 angry red lines down her side. His head swam with emotions that he tried desperately to control.

"No no no" he heard himself whisper "Rita did he…?" Rita continued to hang her head.

"No. He said he would if he'd wanted to. I wouldn't have been able to stop him. I didn't do anything to stop him. I'm sorry. I just froze"

Iain took some deep breaths trying to push from his mind what he wanted to do to Mark if he got his hands on him. His priority was Rita and he needed to let her know.

"Ok. Thank you for telling me. Please don't blame yourself, none of this is your fault. I want to help you with this Rita, however you'll let me. I don't want us to change but if that's too much for you at the moment then please let me help you as a friend okay?"

"We can talk about any of this that you want to later or whenever you're ready but… and this is just a thought… there's something you could do now if you wanted?"

Rita looked up, tears glistening in her eyes. Iain took a deep breath.

"You could report what's just happened Rita? I mean he'll probably still have your skin under his nails. This could be a chance to stop him getting away with what he just put you through, what he might put others through. He doesn't have to have this power over you. Not any more"

"But what if it's not enough for the police to get him? What if it just makes him more angry?"

"I'm not sure Rita, you probably know more about how it all works than me. But what I do know is that Mark needs to face up to what he's really like. He's not going to do that if he gets away with behaviour like that. And I've got you this time. You're not on your own facing this. Look I saw the woman copper in the ED just now, her car's still over there. We could go and have a chat to her? I'm fairly sure I saw Mark head straight to the pub. I don't think he's got far. You don't have to do this now Rita but it might be too late to act on it if you change your mind further down the line? If you want I can hold your hand the whole time or we can get Zoe. Whatever you're most comfortable with. What do you think?"

Rita inhaled a shaky breath as she tried to collect her thoughts. She'd expected Iain to be disgusted with her but he was still here. That had to be something.

"I think you're right. I don't want him to have this power over me anymore. Over anyone. I want to put it all behind me I just didn't think I could do it on my own but...well… did you mean it?

"Did I mean what?" Iain asked gently

"What you said to Mark… that… You said that I finally had someone who loves me?"

"I wouldn't have said it if I didn't mean it." Iain smiled.

"And you still mean it, even now you know about what just happened?"

"Of course I do. This doesn't change anything. Rita I love you and I want to help you. You don't have to say it back. That's not why I'm saying it. It just happens to be true."

"I don't have to but I do. Love you that is. I thought I was going to lose you over this but I think I can stand up to him if you're with me. Shall… shall we go and see?" She smiled as Iain offered her his hand, ignoring it instead choosing to lean into his side until he wrapped an arm around her shoulder, squeezing her into him gently.

"Come on then. And when we're done, I'm going to take you home and run you a bath and you can have a soak while I cook us some tea. We can spend the rest of the night eating ice cream and watching your choice of crap telly okay? If you love me I think I can just about stretch to that. If that's what you want?" Iain planted a kiss on the top of her head.

"Sounds perfect. And I do love you. I must do, you know why? Any time any of this Mark stuff has resurfaced in the past, the first thought that's occurred to me is how quickly I could get my hands on a drink afterwards." Rita shivered as she thought about how weak that made her sound now she'd said it out loud.

Iain pursed his lips together and shook his head sadly. How had he not thought how deeply this had affected Rita? Not thought to ask before now? Today was the day he would start to put that all right.

"And that's not what you've thought about today?" he queried, genuinely concerned.

"No." She wrapped her arm more tightly round his waist. "The only thing I thought about today was you."


End file.
